This has always amazed me. To an American, cutting line is shameful. To a Frenchman, it’s a bold mixture of tact and guts. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting down the French. In fact my point is the opposite. Different cultures have different values. And waiting in lines is not one of them in France. Americans see a line and they don’t even think about it, they just get in it. The French see a line and they think “How can I avoid standing in that line?” I remember once we were in New York walking to our Broadway show and we saw a huge line of people. I instinctively headed towards the back of the line and my wife instinctively kept going. So I followed her. And we walked right in. It turned out that there were several doors at the entrance and all the people just assumed that because there was a line there that they had to get in it! Now what would happen if we had reached the entrance and in fact there was only one door (with a long line)? The American solution would be to return to the end of the line. The French solution? Just cut in, hoping no one will have the guts to speak up.

Take for example, recently I was at the post office. So I go get in line. Actually I saw the line was about 30 minutes long so I went and did other errands and then came back to a much shorter line. That’s one of the great advantages of living in a small town where everything is within walking distance. Ok, so I’m in line and I see a women who was at the counter and then she casually gets in front of me but off to the side a little. Before, my first reaction in a situation like this was to lay on some good old American values. Then I learned, as mentioned in the opening paragraph, that the French don’t share the same values. So for a while I was going into observation mode. Like I was watching on TV. “I’m here to observe, not judge” I’d tell myself. But eventually I got tired of always being taken advantage of and then I went into French mode where you fight for your rights.

So, standing there at the post office, I’m thinking “Did this women just cut in front of me? No. It’s not possible, she’s about 50.” So I didn’t say anything. Then as the next person went to the next clerk, everyone moved forward a bit and the women went for the kill, quickly stepping in behind the man in front of me. It was very strategic yet elegant. Subtle yet effective. After realizing that this was no amateur, I tapped her on the shoulder and said “Excusez-moi madame mais j’étais deriere lui” (“Excuse me mam but I was behind him”). Now what she did was brilliant. She shamed me! I forget her exact words but she said she was at the counter to get the forms (implying she was physically present in the building before I was) and that if it were such a big deal she would let me go in front of her. This was a real pro that I was dealing with here! So I said it wasn’t polite etc. and she kept saying she wasn’t in a hurry if it was that important for me then I could go. So I quickly turned her approach around on her. “Ok, I’ll let you go just this once but it’s the last time!” So then we were arguing not about who was first, but about who would go first. It was quite funny. So I took my correct place behind the man in front of me and she kept running her mouth. I was only disappointed that the person behind me let her get away with it. They should have sent her butt to the back of the line, which was quite long by now!

So if you’re French you’re probably thinking “Yeah, good for her! She almost got you you fool!” and if you’re American you’re probably thinking either “Why didn’t you just let her go she’s older than you?” or “Yeah, you really told her!” The honest truth is this sort of thing happens all the time. And as someone who is usually very passive, it gets very tiring after several years. So I’ve decided that it’s not about who goes next who or the 2 minutes difference, it’s about catching these people in the act and letting them know I’m not going to take it. Childishness? Yes, of course it is. But if you treat it like a game, it’s quite fun. And I imagine it’s pretty funny when a French person gets scolded in French by an American with a very American accent. And that makes it worth it.

I received an interesting comment on the entry Why the French don’t drink a lot of water during meals (and why you shouldn’t either) that I thought was worthy of a blog entry in itself:

it is considered polite (politically correct?)to qualify one’s statements. So generalizing by saying that Americans do this or that, is considered rude. What is now being done is to say that “In my family we do this…” or people compare and contrast the experiences under discussions.

This comment made me think (and rethink) my blog. On one hand it is true that everyone is different and if I make a statement about the French or Americans, it’s sure that there exists at least one person in the group for which my statement will be false. So should I stop generalizing the French and the Americans?

Let’s take the experience from a friend of mine, one of my best friends in college. She came to Paris on vacation shortly after I moved here. When we finally got together, she told me how rude the French were and how she didn’t like it here. It all started with a rude guy on the plane, then the immigration lines (the French are notorious for cutting lines.. oops!), and it didn’t stop. I won’t repeat all the details, not because I don’t want to discourage anyone from visiting Paris (I think everyone should experience it at least once) but because I just don’t remember them all. Well I remember she got caught up in the techno parade but that’s about it. Her view of France was formed from those few unpleasant experiences. And she later said she’d only come back to Paris for our wedding. We did her a big favor and got married in the US.

So while she was hating Paris and the French, at the same time I was loving it! I find that quite interesting. Because our views are all shaped by our beliefs and our own unique experiences. And that’s what makes generalizing & stereotyping so dangerous yet at the same time so fascinating. My father has never visited me here in France, to his defense he hasn’t ever left the US except to see the Niagara Falls from the Canadian side. My mom made the trip once and I don’t think anyone could talk her into coming back. So I tried to get my dad to come for years and then recently, after my wife gave me a wake-up call, I realized that he wouldn’t like it here. So I gave him the complete picture and told him about all the things I had previously overlooked: the pollution, crowds, people pushing and shoving to get a seat on the metro, all the dog poop, the cigarette smoke, etc. So later he decided he wasn’t going to come. I asked him why and he said that he asked several friends about it and they all said that the French were rude and “the way they treat ya over there” etc. Generalization? Stereotype? Or reality? And who’s reality?

So back to the original comment, this blog is how I view France and the French. And it’s how I view the Americans. And I’ll tell you a little secret, the way I view Americans has totally changed during the 6 years that I’ve lived here! So my point in all this is that this blog is a generalization. I will be stereotyping. And that’s what, in my opinion, is what makes it interesting. Many of my readers are French. Obviously they know what it’s like in France, that’s not why they come here. They come because they want to read about every day life from an American’s point of view.

So in closing, take everything here as just one point of view. Make up your mind for yourself, preferably based on your own experiences and not everyone else’s. And this goes for the French too, who love to generalize about Americans.

It’s 10:11 PM and after a long day I ask myself if I’m in the mood for writing. I usually write on the train, and then add the finishing touches & publish while in bed. But lately I’ve been leaving my notebook at work since I’ve already been working long hours. So, while waiting for the shower to become available, I take a look at CNN. Once again France has amazed me. The article is the “Happy Slap” crackdown and here is a quote from the article:

A new law in France makes it a crime — punishable by up to five years in prison — for anyone who is not a professional journalist to film real-world violence and distribute the images on the Internet.

I’ve never heard of a happy slap, even after reading the CNN article I still don’t know what it is. But whatever it is, I find it crazy that France would outlaw freedom of speech & expression. And this isn’t the first time. Another example cited in the CNN article is the law France passed outlawing the sale of Nazi stuff. They sued Yahoo over it because the Yahoo auctions contained Nazi memorabilia. Sometimes France seems so archaic. We’re talking first amendment stuff here. There are lots of rather obvious implications here and I’m not sure what will come of it but I don’t think it’s good.

I came home tonight and dinner was ready, which was nice (thanks honey!) because I was hungry. So after an appetizer of avacado & tomatoes, I headed to the stove to serve up the main dish. I took off the lid and saw chicken what I thought was chicken in the pan, with a light yellow sauce. “Is this chicken?” I asked, not sure why. “Non, lapin” (“No, rabbit”) the wife says. I thought it was a joke so I loaded up my plate. She said the recipe for the sauce was on the package. That was weird because usually the chicken packages don’t have recipes. My thinking is if it comes with a recipe it must be suspicious. “Is this really rabbit?” “Oui!” (“Yes!”). My stomach was too hungry to argue with my brain about it, and the stomach won.

My wife just pointed out, as she sneaked a peek while I was writing, that rabbit is better for your health because it contains less hormones. I’m not so sure, have you seen these rabbits? They’re the size of dogs! I don’t feel so bad about having eaten it.

And so how was it? All I can say is it tastes like chicken!

One of the things I love about living in a foreign country is it can sometimes turn your thoughts 360 degrees and put them right back in your face. Things you always believed but never really thought about it. And then a French person comes along and BAM! You’re thinking “What was I thinking?” Believe it or not it’s a pretty cool feeling. Kind of like being tricked by a magician.

I noticed once (about 2 1/2 years ago) that my coworkers didn’t drink much water during our lunches in the cafeteria. Often a coworker would get a glass and then never even use it! Americans are big drinkers, especially during meals. It’s a conspiracy with roots deep inside the Coca-Cola company that ends up with most restaurants having “free refills” on sodas. The French, on average, drink very little during the meal, and almost exclusively water (and wine). So I finally asked a coworker “Why don’t you drink with your meal?”. “Because you’re not supposed to” was the reply. “Really? Why is that?” I asked. “Because it fills up the stomach, dilutes the stomach acid, and makes it harder to digest” came the swift response. I thought about it for a few seconds and then kind of dismissed it. After all, everyone in the US drinks a lot during meals.

Fast forward a few months, I decided to ask doctor about it during a visit and he “prescribed” me this: Drink one glass of water before the meal, and then have a glass of wine with the meal but nothing else to drink. What? Did a doctor just tell me to drink wine? Hey, that’s pretty cool. So the next day I grabbed a glass of wine at the cafeteria at work. That caused quite a bit of interest, because even though it’s allowed, available, and acceptable, no one does it. I explained, “Doctor’s orders!”. That didn’t last long because I found it hard to stay awake after lunch, but it did change my thoughts on drinking during meals.

So if you’re interested, the rule is this: Drink in between meals but not during. If you forget, just drink water before you start eating or don’t drink at all. This may sound hard to Americans, that’s because the American food is very rich (read fat) and salty. The food isn’t salty in France so drinking a lot of water isn’t necessary.

If you Google it, you’ll find the French aren’t the only ones. People are catching on to it in the US too. Which is quite funny, because it’s something the French have known for how many hundreds of years? So remember: If the French say something about food, pay attention! They’re almost always right. Even when they say US birthday cake is disgusting and you don’t want to believe them, you know deep down inside they are right.

And now you know why Rolaides, Tums, Tagamet, Pepcid, etc. are doing such a huge business. Take a meal for two but put it on one plate, with lots of fat, salt, and sauce, and then throw in a gallon of Coke and you’ve got a recipe for disaster! Kind of like throwing a Menthos in a glass of coke.

I recently came across a blog entry from Spain that gives the details on some recent research showing that speaking at least two languages impedes “brain degeneration”. It certainly is an interesting concept. Speaking two languages keeps your brain working more, and I can definitely confirm this. I’m currently reading an IT book written in French (my first “technical” book in French) and although I can read almost as fast as I can in English, I must concentrate a lot more. Just the slightest hint of day-dreaming and I have to go back and reread the paragraph. This is especially hard when reading functional specifications from our customers! Speaking both French & English just seems natural but deep inside the brain is working overtime.

I’ve also tried learning Mandarin Chinese but that was way too difficult. I think it’s impossible with access to a native speaker on a regular basis, and a single 1.5 hour session per week wasn’t enough for me. It wasn’t hard to learn, the grammar is actually easy. But the pronunciation was incredibly difficult. So now I’m thinking about going back to Spanish. I have a very basic level and I’d love to be fluent. Although it’s almost useless in France, it’d be very useful if we move to the US.

So if adding a few years of life to your brain is not a good reason to learn a foreign language, let me know and I’ll have to come up with some more. In the meantime, check out the details of the article: Speaking at Least Two Tongues Impedes Brain Degeneration.

The Paris métro is awesome. It’s so easy to use even the American tourists can figure it out. I am confused in London and in New York I’m totally lost. And in New York, what’s with not being able to cross to the other side if you take the wrong entrance?

The first Paris metro system was completed in 1900, the second oldest in the world. And that’s why it’s amazing that it’s still one of the best in the world. According to this survey by Virgin Vacations the Paris metro is #2. I don’t think it’s a fair comparison because London is #1. Whenever we’re in London we play a game to see who can spot the most rats. If you like to play this game I’ll give you a tip: look for the moving McDonald’s bags. But I also have to admit that the London metro smells a little less like urine than the Parisian metro so I guess it’s about even. If you read my previous entry, Why are Parisians always in a hurry? you’d know that they’re only in a hurry to get out of the métro!

I remember at the metro entrance at La Gare Saint Lazare (“St. Lazare train station”) there were mirrors in the corners of the stairs. Just a tall thin mirror in the corner. What is that all about? Well later I found out that those mirrors were strategically placed. And why might you ask? Because that’s where people were urinating. Apparently it worked. People would not urinate on a mirror. I’m not sure why I say “people” because I wouldn’t urinate anywhere in the metro (remember the Seinfeld episode in the parking garage?) but I guess if I had to choose a spot it wouldn’t be in front of a mirror.

I could go on and on about the Paris metro but it’d be easier to just send you to the Paris Métro page at Wikipedia. But what they don’t tell you at the Wikipedia page are the official rules:

• You’re not allowed to talk to anyone on the train, you must wait until you get off
• When you get on, you must stop right inside the door so that others can’t get on
• When you get off, wait until the last possible second and then yell Pardon! (And no it’s not pronounced like Dolly Pardon)
• If you have a choice of seats, take the aisle. Not only does it have more room (the window seat is like being stuffed into a small box), but it causes people trouble to squeeze into the window seat and thus you’re more likely to keep the window seat empty
• If you’re a guy, you must stare at the women in front of you. If you’re a woman, you must read a book
• Never, ever, wear white clothes if you’re taking the metro
• Despite claims to the contrary, the clothe seats are not washable. And they date back to 1900.
• If you miss the terminus (“last stop”), just sit tight. Eventually the train will go back in service.

Well that should be enough to get you to your destination!

Why is it that people in big cities always seemed stressed out, in a hurry, etc. while people in smaller cities seemed more laid back and cool? It’s kind of like the East coast / West coast thing. People in New York are more stressed than people in California. And Paris is like New York on steroids. The Parisians are always in a hurry. One of the first things I noticed was that when going up or down an escalator, you stand to the right and you walk to the left. Of course there are no signs stating this, you’re just supposed to know it. Soon after living here I found myself walking up the escalators (on the left side) along with everyone else. Not only does it save you 8 seconds, but it’s better exercise. It was quite funny when my cousin, niece, and nephew came to Paris to visit us. On our first outing, we had to go down a huge escalator. Well it turns out my little nephew is scared of escalators. He froze once he got on, and I must admit we were in La Défense and the escalators are very long as you descend deep underground. He had never seen an escalator so long and he was holding on for dear life. Meanwhile, he was causing a bouchon (“traffic jam”) and people were very impatiently waiting behind me. I was quite embarrassed by it all but it was quite amusing at the same time.

Once I happened to meet a coworker in the train station on the way to work and we were waiting for our train. He was from Lille, a smaller city in the north. I was so used to being in a hurry in order to get a seat that when I heard the train coming I jumped up out of my seat and started heading towards the train. Then I realized he wasn’t alongside me. He was still sitting down, folding up his newspaper. So I stopped and waited for him. I told him “Hurry up! We’re not going to get seats!” And to be honest, sometimes you don’t even get on the train if it’s full. He was so calm about it and made a comment about Parisians being in a hurry all the time. We got on the train, I don’t remember if we got a seat or not, I don’t think so, but he didn’t care. This really showed me just how different things are in Paris.

Another Parisian friend explained that the Parisians aren’t in a hurry to get some place, they’re just in a hurry to get out of the metro, which usually stinks and is generally unpleasant. I guess that’s a good reason to walk up the escalators.

And the most interesting thing is that just by living here among them, we become like them.